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Introduction and history
The custom of marriage proposal is a process after the merisik (surveying) where a decision has been made to make a girl as daughter-in-law. Therefore, the parents of the man will send elders as their representatives to visit the girl's house to propose to her from her parents. Usually, female parents do not give final answers to male parties. Girl's parents often postpone the decision with the aim of consulting with the next of kin even though they may actually be ready to accept the proposal. This delay period sometimes lasts for a day or two, but sometimes it takes up to a week or more.
After that, the girl will send the parents as representatives to convey the acceptance of the proposal to the man's family. At the same time, all conditions related to dowry, expenses, and the wedding date will be discussed and agreed upon by both parties.
The engagement custom is also known as the sending of the custom made after the marriage proposal. This custom is usually practiced after the man's proposal is accepted by the girl. As a symbolic engagement, the man will send a ring, usually a diamond ring, the size and value of which depends on the preferences and capability of the man's family. In addition to rings, some also include other items known as hantaran (dowry) such as cloth, cakes and traditional delicacies in odd amounts. This engagement custom is also accompanied by a small feast by the girl's family.
The custom of proposing is intended to propose as well as the setting of dowry and the brideprice. On the other hand, the engagement custom is a symbol of the agreement of both parties to carry out the marriage bond according to the time that has been set.
Ring and dowry
The man's mother will put a ring on the girl as a symbol of the engagement.
Reference Source
Bahan Bacaan
Baharin Ilias, Mohd Usairi Mohamed Zainuddin, Md. Riduan Muhamad, Nik Yusnita Nik Ahmed & Fatimah Muhd Shukri (2016). Beberapa Aspek Adat Resam Melayu Kelantan. Kota bharu: Majlis Agama Islam dan Adat Istiadat Melayu Kelantan
Syed Alwi Sheikh Al-Hadi (1980). Adat Resam dan Adat Istiadat Melayu. Kuala Lumpur: Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka.
Tokoh (jika ada temu bual tokoh)
Location
State JKKN Contact Information
Encik Wan Mohd Rosli bin Wan Sidik
Cultural Officer
Jabatan Kebudayaan dan Kesenian Negara, Kelantan
Kompleks JKKN Kelantan
Lot 1993, Seksyen 49,Tanjong Chat,
15200, Kota Bharu,
KELANTAN DARUL NAIM
09-741 7000
