ADAT RESAM DAN BUDAYA KAUM BRUNEI: ADAT PERTUNANGAN

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Introduction and history

In going to the realm of marriage, the Bruneian ethnic community in the state of Sabah has customary procedures and processes that need to be carried out starting from the surveying process up to the bersanding ceremony. However, one of the most important components towards the process is the custom of engagement. The engagement process is a custom full of symbolism and  procedures.


Before the engagement custom is carried out, visits to the girl's house for engagement matters are usually done many times. It starts with the implementation of the custom of surveying which means to investigate more closely about the status of a woman whether she already has or otherwise. After having a positive response, the man will visit the girl's house again to do the second process which is the 'Bajarum' custom, which means proposing and building a word of agreement and an agreement to carry out the customary engagement ceremony. Both of these processes will be carried out first so that the engagement customs planned by both parties go smoothly without any objections.


Functions and Roles

The function and role of the engagement custom in the Bruneian ethnic is intended to give a sign of bond between the male and female that is recognized by the families of both parties. It is a symbol of commitment or initial emotional and mental preparation between couples to step into the realm of marriage. In addition, the Bruneian ethnic community believes that engagement is one way to give time for any discussions and negotiations regarding marriage, including financial, customary, and cultural aspects. Also, any issues or misunderstandings during the engagement period can be resolved before entering the marriage phase in order to reduce the risk of conflict in the future.


During the engagement period, the man should give his fiance's burnt expenses for future wedding expenses. If there is a langkah dulang (that is, the woman who wants to be married has an unmarried sister or sisters or langkah bendul), or in Sabah, known as a langkah sungai (that is, the two brides-to-be are not from the same tribe), then the man required to make a payment to the woman's family in the amount set by them.


Traditional Attire/ Accessories

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Equipment/ Ingredients

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Method / Preparation Method / Presentation Method

The engagement custom will begin with;


Arrival of the Men's Entourage

The arrival of the men's group at the girl's house. This group is more numerous when compared to the merisik process and Bajarum customs.


Photo 1: Arrival of the Men's Entourage
Source: Pn. Helen binti Gain

Delivery of the Proposal Dowry (Sepengadak Kain Teruna)
The male entourage will usually present a gold ring as an opener, also marking the beginning of the engagement with a fee of between RM100-RM150. In addition, gift trays (dulang hantaran) in the form of shoes, perfumes, women's baju kurung clothing sets, fruits or sweet gifts to the women will also be given as a token of appreciation from the men's families. One of the trays contains Sepengadak Kain Teruna consisting of Malay clothes and songkok (a set of men's clothes), and is returned to the men during the marriage ceremony. This cloth is not required, if the groom-to-be is present when sending the engagement sign.