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The customary process of Kedayan ethnic marriage is divided into six stages as follows;

1. Njaum-Njaum (Surveying and Proposing)

Njaum-Njaum comes from a Kedayan language term that means spying or courting. It refers to the initial stage of the marriage process, where the man's family sends a messenger to find out the readiness and status of a girl to be betrothed. This Njaum-Njaum process not only focuses on the personal matters of the couple, but also evaluates the background and family relationship of both parties. The following is the customary procedure in the Njaum-Njaum level;

● Ngitai-Inai (Looking for Girl's Information) - Man's families will do ngintai-inai, which is the collection of information about the girl they want to survey on. Information sought includes marital status (whether married or not), behavior, family background, and reputation in the community.

● Ngantar Tanda (Surveying Official Messenger) – This official custom of surveying begins with the visit of the male representative to the house of the female family. They will bring a sign as a symbol of good will in the form of a ring and cash to the woman as a mouth opener or sweetening the conversation. The amount of opening money is not set and is subject to the request of the girl. The current rate is RM50 to RM100.

● Custom of proposal - If the girl agrees to accept the proposed proposal, then they will explain about the custom, followed by a discussion about the things that the man needs to prepare for the engagement ceremony, that is:

1) Sending Tepak Money (Ngantar Uang Tepak) in the form of dowry and remittance expenses.

2) A gold ring as a sign of engagement.

3) A kris complete with a sheath as a symbolic substitute for a man or a guardian to a betrothed girl. The kris will be handed back to the man after the completion of the marriage contract because the kris will be used by the groom during the marriage ceremony as a sign of greatness.

4) A type of traditional container called Kipil and Caamai to store rings. If it is difficult to find in the market, it can be replaced with cash according to the current rate.

5) Sapangadak clothes which are clothes for complete dressing from head to toe. Both parties can replace it with a cash value according to the estimated price mutually agreed upon.

6) A gold ring for the older sister who will be engaged if there is a langkah dulang, ie the woman has an older sister who is not yet engaged.

7) Provide other needs at the request of the woman if there is a river step, ie the man is not from Kedayan ethnicity.

2. Engagement/Engagement Ceremonies

The engagement date is determined by both the male and female parties. On the day of the engagement, a group of men came to bring the engagement message as discussed on the day of the wedding ceremony. The dowry is usually carried in a decorated tray. The women will inform the audience that all the items brought meet the conditions as agreed together. After that, the custom of putting on the ring will be done by the mother of the man or the representative of the girl. After putting on the cinchi, the women will respond to the delivery by filling it with suitable items for the man's group to take home. 

3. Practices and Prohibitions During Engagement

In order to ensure good relations between the families of both men and women start to be established since the engagement, this ethnicity takes care of pure practices such as pilgrimage called 'Badudun', between the two sides. In Badudun, fruits are usually brought for the host and vice versa. During the engagement period, both parties must maintain good manners and maintain the good name of their respective families.

4. Wedding Custom

Marriage customs in the Kedayan ethnic group have to follow several mandatory processes, namely;

● Langir Bath - Before the marriage contract, the bride-to-be will usually perform a langir bath to clean and beautify her face and skin. The Langir Bathing Ceremony requires the preparation of traditional ingredients that are believed to have symbolic value and special properties such as bath water that has been mixed with langir wood, bidara leaves, musk lime, kenanga flowers, melur flowers, roses, and cempaka flowers. Then, the bride-to-be will be rubbed using a mixture of rice and turmeric.

● Marriage Contract- Completed by imam or tok kadi at the bride's house or at the mosque. The groom recites the contract in front of the guardian and witnesses. Delivery of dowry and gifts as a sign of the validity of the marriage.

● Babadak and Bridal Shower - In the evening after the marriage ceremony, the two brides and grooms hold a babadak night ceremony, that is berinai night at their respective homes, with marhaban or badikii performances. In this ceremony, usually seven men and seven women who are selected from the immediate family do the tepung tawar, decorated with berzanji, marhaban and salawat on the prophet. The sprinkling of the bride and groom is done by the family and guests while the Prophet's prayers are chanted. This is followed by a gambus event or dance, mukun or drumming until late at night. This event was very popular in the past because three female drummers or rempana exchanged verses with the audience. The bridal shower is performed in a dignified manner accompanied by kulintangan and rempana.

● Bertimbang Ceremony (Bersanding) - Wedding ceremony is usually done at the bride's house. The groom's entourage will go through a process known as 'Malliwan' which is walking together towards the bride's house. The groom is led using a handkerchief by an imam or someone who is considered equivalent, accompanied by a group of rempana or kompang and manggar flowers. Throughout the procession, the kompang will be played together with the selawat and are accompanied by traditional songs to enliven the atmosphere of visiting the bride's house. After the bride and groom join each other, the ceremony of sprinkling rose water, tepung tawar, and sweet flour will be done by the closest family members as a sign of blessing and then the ceremony is celebrated joyfully.

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