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In the traditional structure of Suluk, marriage is handled with full custom that includes several main phases, starting from the process of Pag-pasihil (surveying), Pag-pangasawa' (proposal), Pag-turul taima' (handover), Pag-tia'un (wedding ceremony), and Tingkuwang (ceremony on the men's side).

1. Pag-pasihil (Surveying)

At this stage, the representative of the man will visit the house of the woman's family to obtain information about the background of the prospective wife and her family. This process is considered a preliminary step to assess the compatibility between the two parties, including social status, religion, and family reputation. If there is a positive response, then the man will proceed to the next step by proposing a proposal (Melina Attip, 2024).

2. Pag-pangasawa’ (Proposing)

At this stage, the men will bring a courting party consisting of the immediate family, the head of the family, and the priest as a sign of seriousness. They will bring various forms of symbolic gifts in the form of Sinsing Bulawan (engagement ring), Siga (cigarettes), cloth for women, sweets such as sweets and snacks as a complement to the courtship ceremony. In this stage, a process known as "Susukatan Ungsud" will be carried out, which is the determination of delivery. Usually, the value of the gift will be set high if the girl comes from a respected family or has completed the Al-Quran. This element of 'Susukatan Ungsud' is important because it reflects the social status and honor of the female family. Mandatory basic remittance demands from the men are remittance value, one 'Dublun' (chain mother), a set of jewelery (gold chain, gold bracelet, gold ring and gold earrings), one livestock (Cow), one sack of 'Bugas' or rice, and seven cartons of 'Siga' (cigarettes) as basic conditions for the marriage to be valid. Apart from the mandatory list, it is up to the men and not an obligation (Muskina Anisun, 2024).

3. Pag-turul Taima’ (Handover)

Pag-turul Taima’ refers to the stage where the man officially submits the agreed delivery gift (hantaran) to the woman. This delivery symbolizes the economic ability of the man as well as the ability to support the life of his future wife after marriage. In addition, there is also a craft symbol known as 'Mahligai' which is a replica of a small house beautifully decorated with traditional food such as Penjaram cake, Jah/Jala cake, Sweets (Candies and snacks), as well as flowers that symbolize hope and happiness of life together. However, in today's modern world, 'Mahligai' is processed into a delivery tray with banknotes decorated as flowers or using a replica of a cheque. The delivery of these items will be done with full custom and protocol, accompanied by the presence of the immediate family as a witness to the handover ceremony (Muskina Anisun, 2024).

4. Pag-tia’un (wedding ceremony)

This stage is the climax of Suluk wedding customs. The wedding ceremony is usually held at the bride's house with the presence of extended family as well as special invitations from the local community. A day before the wedding ceremony, both brides and grooms will carry out the custom of 'Pag-passal', which means hennaing at their respective residences. After that, the next day, the groom's entourage will visit the bride's residence with three trays full of food known as 'Dulang Mukmin' which is a tray of food for guests present at the bride's house, 'Dulang Kajah' which is a tray symbolic of the beginning of life newlyweds and 'Dulang Pangantin' is a special food tray for both brides and grooms on the wedding day (Kee Sabariah Kee Mohd Yussof & Asmiaty Amat, 2012).

Photo 1: Dulang Kajah

Source: Sabri Munaf, 2024

Usually, Pag-tia'un is held all day where the marriage ceremony will be held starting at two in the afternoon, which is between the time after Zohor and before Asr. Significantly, the timing of this wedding is to facilitate the 'Pag-batal' process, which is a symbolic sign of canceling the groom's Wudhu water on the bride. This Pag-batal custom has a certain protocol, that is, the groom who has been legally married will be escorted into the bride's room by the priest. The bride will sit behind the groom and three cigarettes will be dropped from the bride's forehead. 

Photo 2: Pag-batal

Source: Sabri Munaf, 2024

After that, the groom will lift and turn the bride three times which is known as 'Pusingan maka-tuh'. In the last round, the bride's face will be facing the groom's face, and the man's right thumb will be placed on the bride's forehead as a perfect symbol of Pag-batal custom (Sabri Munaf, 2024). Only then is the ceremony performed in the evening starting after Maghrib until late at night.

Photo 3: ‘Pusingan maka-tuh’ custom

Source: Sabri Munaf, 2024

5. Tingkuwang (Men’s Side Ceremony)

After the three-day wedding ceremony on the women's side, Suluk ethnic customs also include a marriage ceremony on the men's side known as Tingkuwang. At this stage, the bride and groom will be celebrated again at the groom's house. This ceremony aims to introduce the bride to the man's extended family as well as a symbol of acceptance and the beginning of married life at the husband's residence. Usually, this ceremony is more simple and held with full intimacy among the immediate family.

Muskina binti Anisun. (33 years old). Kampung Sri Aman, Simunul, 91308 Semporna, Sabah. 8 October 2024.

Melina binti Attip. (52 years old). Kampung Bubul Lama, Jalan Haji Jaafar, 91308 Semporna, Sabah. 8 October 2024.

Sabri bin Munaf (30 years old). Kampung Bugaya, 91308 Semporna, Sabah. 9 October 2024.